


A Not so Secret Secret

by Nesrie, Paladin (Nesrie)



Series: Modern Spartacus - Love is Hard [2]
Category: Spartacus Series (TV), Spartacus: Blood and Sand, Spartacus: Gods of the Arena, Spartacus: Vengeance, Spartacus: War of the Damned
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 17:01:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19338763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nesrie/pseuds/Nesrie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nesrie/pseuds/Paladin
Summary: Donar doesn't know what he is doing, and he probably does it wrong... all the time. Fortunately he's found someone who can mostly handle it.





	A Not so Secret Secret

Donar gently pressed his lips against the light shoulder next to him. He’d been watching the other sleep, looking at the long back and strong arms grasping a pillow tightly for comfort. It’d been a long time since he woke up with another person in bed and actually cared they were there. Sure, on occasion he might have one of his flings stay the night, even have breakfast with them. He remembered there was a girl, one from a donut shop with the cutest smile and ever so slight chubby cheeks he had dated for at least a week he thought or two. She’d stop coming over after a while though, and he just didn’t call her. That’s when he knew it was fondness at most, nothing more. He worried sometimes about this, about what he was doing and why, how it might end or why it began in the first place. He’d been through enough fights and screaming accusations to know how relationships could end, but mostly he dabbled in the area Agron accused him of haunting the most, girls who were just not really going to want or pursue a relationship of any kind or so bat shit crazy no one would ever fault him when they did break up. He had one girl, the one with the spikey white hair that was so white he was kind surprised the chemicals didn’t actually cause it to fallout, actually call him a meat stick. The thing was… he didn’t care. She got bored, and so did he, and he just moved on. This, this was different though. 

“Mmm”. The other made noise, shifting slightly, squeezing the pillow harder and burrowing into the fluffy offering until eventually the blonde turned his head to the side and gave Donar a hesitant smile, brown eyes deep and sleepy. “I must’ve drank more than I thought. I don’t remember driving over here.”

Donar gave him a brief smile in return. “You did and you didn’t. I drove us home. We’ll get your car later today.”

Warren grimaced, running his fingers through his platinum long blonde hair, the dark brown eyes vanishing behind lids while he shifted his entire naked body to face Donar. “I’ll need a few minutes to get my things together. I didn’t mean to stay over I just… Lady’s downstairs?”

“Yeah, she is. I heard her playing with the cats earlier.” Donar placed a hand on his companion’s shoulder and tried to find the right words. “It’s okay. You look like you might have some pain. You need aspirin?”

Warren nodded and sat-up, watching Donar climb out of the bed and walk over to the bathroom. He’d spent a good half a year looking for just the right medicine cabinet. He wanted something deeper than what the girls seemed to like, so he could actually put something on the damn shelf. The mahogany was rich and dark, the glass calm, and well, he just liked it. And of course it held his Costco sized bottle of aspirin just fine. By the time he returned to the bed with a glass of water and a few pills, his guest was already pulling on his jeans but not before Donar caught a glimpse of a few new bruises. 

The blonde took the pills and swallowed, moving to stand but Donar took a seat next to him and placed a hand on his thigh. “Hey, wait a minute. I think we should probably talk.”

Warren frowned, glancing around the room for his shirt. “Look. You were clear this was going to be new for you, that it might not work out, and you set ground rules. I know sometimes Duro comes around on the weekend, so I can just get my clothes on and get Lady and…”

Donar grabbed his shoulder and squeezed. “Hey, Warren I mean it. Just look at me will you?”

He could tell by Warren’s deep breath, eyes focusing on the floor and eventual stiff compliance the other man was expecting the worst. He kind of felt bad about that, but Warren was right, everything had been laid out on the table in advance. 

“Okay.” Deep dark eyes peered at him.

Donar remained quiet for a moment. The weight of the silence didn’t help, but he just needed a moment. “I don’t know why so many people think blondes should have light eyes. I just, well I just like yours the way they are.”

Warren gave him a weak smile. “That’s uhhh nice of you say. Look Donar you know Duro could drop by any minute, and I know you don’t want to him to catch me here. Why don’t I just leave and we can talk when there isn’t this risk for you?”

“I don’t really care about that right now. Did Gannicus give you those bruises?”

“Huh?” Warren blinked at him in confusion for a minute before looking down at his side, noting a few small markings. An arid laugh sounded, and he shook his head. “No, no Saxa actually. You know how she is, just gets a little rough sometimes.”

Yeah, that was an understatement. He insisted Gannicus help expend at least some of that energy before he set her loose on Warren. Donar fell silent again so naturally Warren tried to remind him about the planned exit. 

“Donar, really everything’s fine I can just…”

Donar huffed briefly, but he didn’t move or really respond to Warren’s attempt. “These parties, they’re okay with you?”

“Donar…”

“I don’t want to force you into anything. Saxa and Gannicus told me there wouldn’t be anyone else with you. And if it got out of hand, I just want make sure it didn’t okay.” Damn, he sounded a little protective didn’t he? And he wasn’t really used to that feeling, that worry, at least not with anyone he actually fucked, well planned to, maybe, sort of kind of did already…

Warren grabbed his hand. “I was… I was nervous at first; I admit it. But Donar I promise you, it was Saxa, no one else. Gannicus has always been considerate with me anyway.” He nervously licked his lips. “I know this isn’t a closed relationship. I know you’re not sure if you’re really into men or you know… me but…”

“I’m into you.” Donar interrupted immediately, frowning as he processed what Warren told him and his feelings on the subject. “You like the parties?”

“I do.” And of course Warren elaborated because that’s just what he did. “I told you I came from a closed family, very religious, very strict. I never explored or did anything like this when I was younger. It’s not a very big group when she has her parties, and Donar if you need more space.” The younger man seemed uncertain and worried again. “I mean the girl you were with last night was very pretty.”

Donar’s frown didn’t lift, and he felt his brow sort of scrunch together a bit more. “Yeah she was although to be honest I think she had more fun with Saxa afterward than she did with me. I mean she said she swung both ways but those two went at it for a while.” He shook his head, trying to focus on something a little less tantalizing. “It’s a closed relationship, at least for me.” Donar admitted quietly. 

“I thought you said you didn’t want to be held down yet?” Warren questioned cautiously. 

“It didn’t seem right to ask you to do something like that and then pick you up Friday or Saturday nights and take you to my friend’s sex parties.”

Warren laughed quietly which of course elicited a similar response from Donar. “I guess I can see your point. You mean you haven’t taken anyone home since we started seeing each other?”

Donar glanced around the room then, searching for his bottle of beer. Damn it, he’d never been one to let clutter or dirtiness linger but since Warren started coming back with him some nights Donar didn’t really leave half-drunk bottles of beer laying around anymore. He’d have to do this the old fashion way, sober. “Not one. I haven’t gone anywhere to screw either. I just, well the parties are enough.” He confirmed. “Have you seen anyone?”

Warren shook his head. “I told you. My last relationship wasn’t, well it wasn’t good, and I haven’t really been looking since. It’s not that easy, you know, for guys like me. I mean I guess if we all looked like you and your friends and were built like that and had the kind of support structure you guys do it would be different. Have you even been to a gay bar before?”

Donar smirked briefly as their eyes met. “You’re not that soft Warren, and you’re good looking. And no, not even Agron can get me into one of those. Actually, I’m not sure if he goes to those bars either. It’s not that I have anything against it though, okay maybe I do. Maybe he does. Maybe he doesn’t.” He babbled now and hated he did it too.

“Well not all of them are what you’re thinking, but with my condition, some guys just can’t handle that. It just, well it scares them. And it’s not always the best place to meet someone anyway for more than hooking up. I just don’t do that much. Besides the parties are fun so maybe I am… well not what I thought all these years.” Warren frowned after a moment. “So you’re not concerned about Duro finding me here?”

“No, no I don’t think I am.” Donar scooched in closer and wrapped a strong arm around Warren’s waist. “This isn’t really normally though is it?””

The other man snorted briefly. “Normal’s overrated. They have what, a sixty percent divorce rate? I promise you gay marriage isn’t going to bring that average up… much.” Warren rested his head against Donar’s shoulder. “You’re not forcing me Donar. You’ve been upfront, amazingly blunt about it actually. When you told me you weren’t gay, but you were kind of into me, and the first time Saxa and Gannicus invited us over for couples’ time, and it was just the four of us…”

Donar shook his head. “Well it would have been nice if she’d warned me about that. I mean I told her I wasn’t sure how to start, or you know, how I would react with another guy. That gay porn is just, well it’s pretty awful, and then she’s telling me to have you over. I’m thinking it’s for dinner right, and then the wine comes out and then more wine comes out and then…”

“She told me.”

Donar blinked. “What?”

Warren worried his fingers together. “She told me what they had planned. Saxa wanted to make sure I was comfortable with the idea, and I wasn’t really at first. For a number of days though we’d meet for a light meal after work, and we got to know each other. I knew you could be spooked away pretty easily, and then she’s telling me you were watching bear porn.”

“That’s a lot of hair.”

“Well there are other options.”

“The twinks… I think they’re called.” Donar made a face. 

Warren laughed softly. “You didn’t have to go fetish Donar.”

“Well it’s what the guy recommended at the store.”

A brow rose. “You went into a store to buy that?”

“I’m not really into the whole streaming thing. I’ve got a big TV for a reason, and I just wanted to watch something that was kind of like the other stuff I have.”

“I thought you said your friend Agron was gay.”

“He is.”

“I guess I thought that meant you might ask him?” Warren seemed genuinely surprised about Donar’s decisions.

“There was no way Agron and I were going to have long conversations about the technicalities of gay sex Warren.” Donar sighed. “I didn’t even tell him I was seeing a guy. I know he suspected I was dating someone, and then when you showed up to, you know, patch me up in the middle of the night in the goddamn ocean, I’m pretty sure they know now.”

“But not Duro?”

“Not Duro.”

Warren seemed confused by this. “But you said he’s pretty bright, like picks up on things quickly. “

“Yeah but not relationships. He’s pretty piss poor with those.” Donar weighed his options. “I kind of, well I kind of got in a lot of trouble with the others a while ago when they found out Duro was meeting some of my, my girls.”

“What did you do?” Warren looked more curious than worried.

“It’s not what I did it’s just… I didn’t realize he was talking to them. I mean some of the girls would be around for a few days or a week but this one, well she was probably little longer than most. I come down one morning, and some of the others are there. Duro’s got a surprise you see, invited a few over to my place. I figured the cake was a celebration for good grades, or passing an exam or maybe something someone else did except when he finally brings it out, it has her name on it. The girl he talked to a few times. It was her birthday except he didn’t know I stopped seeing her a couple days before, and well I never bothered to find out her birthday.”

“That’s pretty bad.”

Donar rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah.”

“Was he upset?”

“More like confused. I mean he’s not stupid or anything, but Agron didn’t bring all his dates home like that. He kind of yelled that at me in my bedroom, and well Duro’s seen Mira and Spartacus break up before but get back together. He just didn’t realize I had so many ummm casual relationships. I mean pretty much every girl he ever met at my house was someone I slept with probably more than a couple times and that was it. Everyone else, Mira and Spartacus, Saxa and Gannicus, Naevia and Crixus, they’re more committed than that.”

“And Agron and Nasir?”

“Not that long actually, but yeah they’re committed. Agron’s probably going to fuck that up once in a while but I’ve got a feeling Nasir’s not going to let go anytime soon, no matter what he does. They’re, well they’re in love for sure.”

“I’m not going to either, you know, let go anytime soon.” 

Donar took a moment to process that reply and focused on the other man’s face again. Those dark eyes, they just watched him and despite the apprehension Warren seemed, well he seemed accepting.

“I like the parties.” The younger man continued. “And I like being with you. It might seem like I know what I want, but I struggle with that too Donar.” The uncertainty returned. “I know you told me and tell me the things you do to be honest and to give me outs and to try and not hurt me. It’s too late for that. It’ll hurt no matter what now. “

Donar stood and paced briefly. “I didn’t want to do that. I shouldn’t experiment with other people like that. It’s not fair to you to have to feel like that. I shouldn’t’ have…”

Warren stood and stopped him with only a slight touch to his hip. He waited until their eyes locked to continue. “That’s not how relationships work Donar. There are emotional attachments. I tried not to let it happen too soon, just tell myself I could have fun for a while with a really strong and hot guy and a walk away if you decided all this gay stuff wasn’t for you. Saxa even told me she had a few ideas if that happened, but Donar it wasn’t ever going to be that way for long. I think you knew that too.”

Donar scowled. “Well that makes her kind of a bitch doesn’t it?”

Warren laughed and pulled on his neck to kiss him gently. “Don’t get mad at your friends for making us part of their dark little secret.”

Donar returned the kiss but snorted. “Yeah, the way those two carry on I think there might be two people who might, might be surprised that they have orgies on a regular basis.” He sighed again. “Listen are you, are you doing something next weekend?”

“No. I kind of keep my weekends free now in case you call. I guess that kind of makes me sound desperate right?” Warren laughed quietly, the nervousness creeping up again. “I just get someone to cover my emergency line when I have plans.”

“No, and no.” Donar lifted his hand to Warren’s cheek. “It’s not that. Agron’s been real anxious to go camping, and Duro actually has the weekend off. I’d like you to come. I can introduce you again, you know, do it right this time as my, my boyfriend.”

Warren drew a quivering breath but managed to keep his emotions in check and just nodded.

Donar smiled. “Good. Now.” His eyes raked over Warren’s form. “This move Saxa did, where she put bruises on you like this, is that something I’ve seen before or is it new? Was Gannicus involved?”

A slow smile formed. “I’ll tell them we should do the same thing we did last time, but this time you’d like to watch.”

“Yeah, yeah I’d like that. Like that a lot.”

**Author's Note:**

> I had these scene on my mind for, what seems like, forever. I just wanted to give these two a little extra. I also had no idea how to tag this.


End file.
